if there's one thing i've learned from this week, it's that things don't always go to plan.
i started off the week strong. i was in a show, thoroughly modern millie, playing the lead. this meant a heck-ton of singing and talking. i wasn't overly worried, we'd been rehearsing for two months and my voice was fine.
the first school show came and went with rough bits here and there but for the most part it went smoothly. we finished the whole30 on tuesday so, having missed eating cereal, i had a bowl of cheerios for breakfast on wednesday (with almond milk, dairy is a no-go when singing). i completely blame them for the events that follow.
the wednesday school show went pretty much the same. we had a better audience than the first show on tuesday, although my throat felt a little phlegm-y but i chugged some water and went on for gimme gimme. backstage, i started to feel a little bit of a cough coming on. looking back, i don't know why i wasn't a bit more concerned. anyway, after the show i went home, made pasta, and did some school on the deck because it was 70 entire degrees outside and february. in new england. what the heck. i drove to dance that night and i was feeling a little under the weather. my voice felt strained and i was definitely getting a cough. this is when i started to panic a little bit. on the way home i had a bad headache and as soon as i got back i took echinacea, ibuprofen, and went to bed.
i had so much stress about trying to get myself healthy again, it took me about an hour to fall asleep (i'm normally out in a few minutes) only to wake up again at 4:30, feeling terrible, and go downstairs. i tried steaming my voice and studying psychology before i texted the youth group chat asking for prayers and went back to bed.
thursday morning i felt even worse so i stayed home from co-op in a panic, still trying to fix my voice. all day i steamed, drank tea, and looked up laryngitis cures. my friends surprised me and came to the house, announcing that they were going to be at the show again to 'cheer me on'. everyone told me it was gonna be fine and i think i wanted to believe them, but i really didn't.
fast forward to thursday night, approximately 7:30. i walk onstage, admiring the scenery, and start to sing. it sounds fine. everyone backstage relaxes. however, they relaxed too soon. i can feel the delicateness of my vocal cords and i know what's coming. i get through maybe a minute of the opening number before it happens.
my voice stops working.
it didn't cut out on me, although i would have almost preferred that. instead it dissolved slowly but surely into a sound that very much resembled that of an elephant being trampled and strangled at the same time.
trust me, i wish i was joking.
i finished the song because what else was i going to do? and went right into the next one before rushing off for my 43 second quick costume and wig change. as soon as i'm off, i break down. "i can't freaking do this!" i whisper-scream, on the verge of tears. my voice sounded awful, it hurt to sing, and i'm sure the audience was horrified that they had spent 12 bucks on a ticket to see a girl's voice give out mid-song. they assure me (completely untruthfully) that it didn't sound as bad as i thought it did and that i needed to keep going. i don't know how i finished the scene, but i did.
by the time i reached my 'home base' backstage (my costume rack) both joes had found me and encouraged me. i was still almost in tears, so disappointed in myself and upset that i couldn't fix it. the director came back, also crying a bit at my distress. she told the hysterical wreck that was me that there were lines of songs i could speak instead of sing, but that i would have to finish the show. it was the last thing i wanted to do, but i didn't have a choice.
i'll spare you the gory details of the rest of the show, but know it was full of cough drops, almost tears, and uncountable hugs and whispers of encouragement from everyone backstage. we were a team that night, more than we've ever been before. the mission was to just make it through, and somehow we did. i just know i literally could not have made it without them. (i may have gone home and cried a bit over the get well soon cards all the little girls made me during the show)
i rested my voice on friday, trying to get it so that i could at least speak my lines and lipsync my songs. unfortunately, when i got to the theater i had essentially no voice at all. this led to us almost throwing another girl on as millie with a script to have her do my part before the director and my friends encouraged me enough and i decided i could do it. i don't think i've ever felt prouder of myself than i did when i finished that show.
then there was saturday night. oh, you thought the roller coaster was over? guess again, suckers.
we found out saturday morning that one of our secondary leads was throwing up. he, however, said that he would still be there, it would just be 'little rough'. unfortunately, it kept getting worse and he couldn't even keep down water and was throwing up every half hour. we ordered him to call the director and stay home.
so now we have a millie lipsyncing her songs and barely able to speak her lines without sounding like she smokes 20 packs a day, and no trevor graydon. brilliant. what do we end up doing?
we throw my little brother on as graydon.
he had roughly two and a half hours to memorize the lines (luckily he already knew the songs) this awkwardly left me to play opposite my own brother for a few scenes until i fell for the other guy. not ideal, but what else were we gonna do? not much.
i woke up this morning to a text that our miss flannery is throwing up. we then got to the cast party today and i found out from the director's husband that not only is our poor director home sick with whatever cough/laryngitis/fever monstrosity i have but also the stomach bug. fantastic.
overall, a 10/10 production. no stress, no tears, absolutely no backstage breakdowns whatsoever. absolutely fine.
moral of the story:
don't expect things to turn out perfectly because probably they will not and you will be humiliated and God will laugh at you but it will all turn out okay in the end. probably.
and that is the end of my literal nightmare week. if you're reading this on email my web address is light-on-a-hill.blogspot.com please go there and give me pageviews because pageviews = validation and i need to feel loved
